A Guide to Being Friends With a Scuba Dork

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Sometimes it’s hard for non-divers to understand what could possibly be so great about diving that you’d be willing to spend every weekend diving locally and all your vacations in the tropics.

You spend too much time and money on diving, and you’re not apologetic about it. To others, it may seem foolish, but to you, it’s your hobby, and that’s how you prefer to spend your time.

It may be difficult for non-divers to understand you. That’s why we’ve written this guide for you to share with your friends who have never donned a scuba mask. For your non-diving friends, here are a few things to tell them about being friends with divers:

  1. They won’t hang out with you during shark week.
  2. They know the names and scientific classification of fish you’ve never heard of.
  3. When they tell you where their last vacation was, you have to look it up on Google Maps.
  4. When you compare Facebook photos, their trip to Tahiti is way cooler than your vacation.
  5. When going to a restaurant, they won’t order seafood unless the chef has verified it was caught sustainably.
  6. They won’t be friends with you if you say you like to eat shark fin soup.
  7. They have actually found Nemo.
  8. They want to take their watch off and put it in any body of water to see if they correctly guessed the water temperature.
  9. They know hand signals and can communicate to other divers without speaking.
  10. When you think they are doing the “Night at the Roxbury” dance, they are just trying to get the water out of their ears.

Will educating your non-diving friends about the things on this list help? Probably not. You should probably just tell them to go to their local PADI dive shop to get certified.